1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
