Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
