the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
