I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize