Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
