So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
