i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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