just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
