The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
