does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
