As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
