As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
