Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
