yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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