i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
