ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
