can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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