I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
