He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
