He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
