i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he puts the penis in happiness.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
