we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
