Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
