Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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