Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
