I think I died a long time ago.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
