Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
