i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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