I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
