just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
