So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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