I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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