I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
false alarm, still single
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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