i permit you to call me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
