I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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