what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
