We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They have beer where we have blood.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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