I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize