just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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