i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
