I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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