its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
