I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize