it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize