last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize