Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
