How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
