i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
