I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize