I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
