Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
