Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
