There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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