Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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