I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
