please come you make the beer taste better
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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