Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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