I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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