YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
