You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
