Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize