Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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