So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
