I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
