thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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