he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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