So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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