woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
