Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
