ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
