There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
