i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
