You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
