shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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