u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
