Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
