I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
