OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
